Depression and Bipolar info explaining the latest research in everyday English

25Sep/09Off

It’s ‘All in the Mind’

Lee and some of his alts

Query: can the ‘alts’ of Second Life and other virtual worlds be akin to ‘alters’, the various alternative states of sufferers of Dissociative Identity Disorder and Multiple Personality Disorder?

Is the act of having several ‘alts’ a quasi-therapeutic way of dealing with those ‘alters’?

Prompted by listening to an episode of ABC Radio National’s superb show, ‘All in the Mind’.


7Sep/09Off

Letter to my psychiatrist: 7th Sept 2009

G’day D,

I’m due to see you next week, but I’ll be in Sydney on that day so I guess I won’t see you until the appointment in October.

I think we need to look at a different drug regimen – perhaps the Efexor is losing its efficacy with me. I certainly feel like I’m unravelling at a faster and faster rate.

Just today I have deliberately and successfully over-priced my services on a quote in order to not get the work. Normally I would have jumped at the chance to earn $15-20k for a month or so of work, but I can’t even complete the simple tasks I have at the moment, let alone entertain the prospect of taking on more responsibilities.

The escapist fantasies still loom large in my thoughts and I wonder if I am bringing them to fruition with my own behaviour – all I want to do is expire, to have my light extinguish itself peacefully; to suffer a cardiac arrest from which I do not recover, an infection from a superbug from which there is no cure.

I feel like I am sliding down an ever-increasing spiral, the speed picking up and the wind blowing in my hair as I dissemble, deteriorate and hopefully die.

Naturally, being the skilled showman I am, I can smile and laugh and cause merriment in others. But each day finds me sadder and sadder, each night a torture as I smile for my wife and try not to scare her.

As a pop song in the mid-late 1990s had it, “the drugs don’t work.” Not at the moment, at any rate.

Yours…



   

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