Depression and Bipolar info explaining the latest research in everyday English

Diary of a depressive: 1st June 2009

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From the floor of a SFO waiting lounge en route to Seattle

And so a new adventure starts – and one wonders if the old ghosts can travel across the Pacific Ocean. I suspect they can.

Already on the way over I have entertained the thoughts of handgun purchase, wondering how easy it might be and what checks I might have to undertake in order to purchase a weapon and ammo.

Is America the ‘wild, wild west’ of folklore, or is firearm legislation something no longer foreign on these soils.

What would my hosts say and think if I took my own life over there as their guest?

Would any kind of farewell, explanatory letter be enough to curtail any sense of guilt they might have?

What would my wife say to my mother?

A foreboding sense of inertia threatens me; I know that I should make full use of my time here to network and set up business and doctoral contacts and opportunities – but just as in Melbourne last December, being away from the comforting warmth of my routines and familiar surroundings may induce an overwhelming desire to hide from the world, retreat into my cage and sleep for an eternity.

But unlike Melbourne there will possibly/probably be people around me with whom I have to interact and engage, thus keeping me from only functioning at a basic level. There may not be much chance to withdraw into my shell – instead I shall have to keep my happy face on and bounce my way through it all.